Problems With Forgiveness?

Keep trying forgiveness until you succeed in speaking it.

Forgiveness is a choice, just like happiness, love, faith, etc. No matter how we feel, if we confess to God that we forgive someone(s), God will do the rest.

God focuses on our hearts, not our feelings. He knows why we feel the way that we do, why it is hard to forgive that person or those people. Never give up on trying to utter words of forgiveness. Say what little bit you can to God about forgiving someone. Keep trying forgiveness until you succeed in speaking it.


Keep launching your kite of forgiveness until it catches the wind and flies high!

Obedience is to say to ourselves and to God "I forgive _________," even when we may feel that we shouldn't have to, that it's unfair, that it hurts too much, that God doesn't care. It is the honest effort that God honors. He will help you as you try.

Keep trying to launch your kite of forgiveness. It may take several tries. Your kite may take a nose dive several times and may even crash to the ground a couple of times. Pick it back up and launch it again.

Keep launching it until it catches and flies high into the sky with success. In a similar way, you will become adept at forgiving, with sincerity.

God honors us greatly when we obey in the name of righteousness! Over time, we will see great changes in ourselves and our lives when we choose to just obey and forgive. 

 

 

Don't Accept What You Don't Want

We have to know within ourselves when we are going or not going in the right direction.

The Holy Spirit said to me one day, How can I give you what you want when you keep accepting what you don't want? You know how God is. When he speaks something profound to us, in one sentence we get years of revelation and learning. Only God can squeeze an extended time of learning into a few words. 

His question that day seems elementary, right? It seems to be a simplistic question, one that requires no answer and, indeed, didn't even need to be asked? Well, if that is the case, why do we do it? Accept what we don't want, that is, instead of waiting on God?

Well, some reasons are:

• we think we'll never get it,
• we think we'll miss out on a deal,
• we're afraid we are not doing God's will by waiting,
• we feel we'll be destitute (or more destitute) or lose a lot
  
• we want to do it now,
• we trusted God before and were disappointed,
  
• our spirit is willing but our flesh is weak, we're simply tired of waiting. 

I don't have an answer for all of these concerns, except to say that we have to know within ourselves when we are going or not going in the right direction at any given time. Sometimes, we have to advance into the territory of not doing God's will before we understand how he works. It is always a learning process but he is always there to help us along, whether it be onto a new path or over the same old path from which he tried to deliver us.

God wants to fill our cups with what will help us to be successful.

When we accept what we don't want to end up with, we become immersed in living a small fraction of the life that God planned for us. We think that we are living our best life and that all is good, so we no longer focus on God in that area. In this scenario, there is no place for God to give us what he had for us. The cup that he wants to fill to overflowing is not only partially filled by our own doings but what it is filled with is more than likely not good for us. It certainly is not the best for us.

Once we realize that something is wrong with this picture, we're way down the road and God has to lead us back to the crossroads. He is always willing, but this takes more effort, time and sometimes even money. By the time we do this several times, through a lack of patience, our lives are almost spent. We're almost to the end when it's time to leave here. Well how is that bad, you ask. I'm going to the Lord now, so it doesn't matter anymore.

What if to get you where you are living your best life yet God needs you to lose some things?

It does matter, however, if near the end of our lives we tarry and can't do much. In our declining years, it's sad to leave this world mulling over regrets about what we could have accomplished, the dreams we could have realized, the people we could have helped had we been patient and learned to do it God's way.

So what if doing it God's way seems to cause you to sink to a level where you did not ever think you'd be? What if you lose something? What if you give up something, a chance, an opportunity? What if you feel fear? Anxiety? Ambivalence? What if to get you where you are living your best life yet God needs you to lose these things, be in these places, experience these uncertainties?

A successful spirit births a successful life that reflects doing it God's way.

Experiencing them God's way with a favorable earthly as well as a blessed eternal outcome is better than experiencing them through doing things our own way with a failed and eternally-devoid outcome. You see, the things that we do God's way, in Jesus' name, last and have eternal significance. The things we do our way do not last and do not store up for us eternal riches in the spirit.   

It's very simple. When we persist in opening doors that God has obviously closed to us or we turn our backs on the doors that he has opened, we accept flawed ways of doing things and reject new ways in Christ Jesus.  God cannot give us what he wants us to have if we keep filling our lives with what we think we need or with the thinly-veiled decisions of failure that we've utilized before. God has our best interests at heart and his will is for us to succeed, first of all, in the spiritual way that gives lasting success. A successful spirit births a successful life that reflects doing it God's way. 

God has our best interests at heart and wants us to first succeed spiritually.

There's no space or place for God's best once we fill our needs in the same old ways that are not subject to God because their origin is in the flesh. God's ways can be initially painful, scary or unsettling, but the Christian life is a New Way, after all. That in itself is unnerving but our Father God is ever willing to help us to successes that we cannot contain, as we learn to do it his way and stop accepting what we don't want.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:13

For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

 

Growing Into God's Lessons

 

God carries and supports us through painful training.

God has taught me, through so many stressful lessons, how to not fly off the handle. When we put our training and growth in God, it is painfully endured but he does carry us on each journey. There is something to the quote no pain, no gain. Just read John 15:2 and tell me if you don't think it means some type of pain to be endured. If you persist in thinking that you are ok without any growth pains, then that is probably why you have not grown up in the Lord very much. What is the pain of growth all about? 

Well, it's emotional pain primarily, the pain of being treated unfairly and not jumping to retaliate, the pain of not being allowed to repay evil for evil, the pain of not giving as good as we get, the pain of not seeking justifiable revenge, the pain of not allowing vengeful thoughts to develop, the pain of not correcting others and demanding from them, the pain of being constrained in thought, word and deed, the pain of not vindicating ourselves, the pain of learning to love our enemies (real and imagined), the pain of learning to bow our knees and pray for those who use us in hateful ways, the pain of waiting on God.

We are rewarded on the other side of painful training.

When we choose to put a challenging situation in his hands first instead of acting upon our initial, vehement response, we grow into the lesson that God intends. We are also rewarded on the other side of the pain because we don't suffer for nothing. When we handle a distressing situation on our own, however, we don't get anything everlasting out of it. As it says, we got our reward, in the flesh, and that's all we'll get out of what we did (Matthew 6:5, 21, I Corinthians 3:12-15). That reward is in our flesh. What else does that kind of unrestrained behavior cause?

As a result, we will most likely go on in life feeling resentful about the situation, recounting it and allowing it to replay over and over in our minds. We may have thought what we wanted to, said what we wanted to and did what we wanted to but we end up defeated. We have nothing of significance about our resolution to offer ourselves or anyone else. Most of all, we end up without any hope of spiritual, heavenly rewards for our fleshly effort. 

We end up defeated and without spiritual rewards when we behave any kind of way.

Many times, when I journeyed through with God to the end of the situation, he showed me that my hurt and/or rage was built up through untrue assumptions anyway. I don't think I would ever have found out had I flown off the handle at the onset of the situation. Even if someone or some entity was guilty of what I thought, because of my additional assumptions, they would not have deserved the ballistics that I would have leveled at them had I operated in my flesh. God gets to the root and leaves no stone unturned. A little assumption, a lot of assumptions, it's all the same to him.

Allowing ourselves to be taught and pruned by God quietly detonates the powder kegs of assumptions. Believe me, when we are obedient to God, often he will supernaturally shift things so that the least damage, to us and to them, will be done while he's teaching us. You'll see his right hand work! He's wonderful!

God will supernaturally shift things for damage control.

We don't have to fly off the handle anymore. We can triumph and have peace through every trying event. We can receive rewards for our obedience and endurance, not only here, but most importantly in Heaven. 

Resting In Obedience

Jesus decides to wash his disciples' feet to illustrate a principle.

As Christians, when we finally get it we then try to do too much. In John 13:5-10, Jesus begins to wash the feet of his disciples. When he comes to Peter, the disciple in his ignorance rejects Jesus' humble service. When Jesus explains to him that in allowing his teacher to serve him he is acknowledging that they are one. He is showing that we can rest in obedience. Peter, however, goes overboard.

Jesus humbly begins to wash the feet of his disciples.

Peter enthusiastically says that if that's the case, he then wanted Jesus to wash his hands and his head! While it is commendable that Peter was so committed to his relationship with The Savior, all of that was not necessary. In the Christian walk, God shows us often that much of our activity is not necessary, and that we can rest in obedience. He explained to Peter that to be clean for the purposes and point that his Lord and Master was making meant that only his feet needed to be washed. 

Peter's ignorance causes him to reject Jesus' ministering.

There are deeper messages in this passage. For now, I will say that we as Christians try to do too much. The too much is what we perceive as pleasing God, or being a part of God's kingdom. We work hard to think of ways to please God. This is a form of orchestrated sacrifice. The best thing to do is to expend our energies towards learning how to better hear the still small voice of God's Spirit. When we hear what he is saying to us, we can then rest in obedience.

Peter goes overboard in his acceptance of Jesus's ministering.

When we are more experienced in discerning his guidance we can better obey his voice. The Word tells us that obedience is better than sacrifice. When Peter accepted the ministering to him in the way that Christ was determined that it should be done, that was the better way. He suppressed his desire to sacrifice through unnecessary activity. He obeyed his Master. We too can rest in obedience.

Then Samuel said,

"Is the LORD as delighted with burnt offerings and sacrifices as he would be with your obedience?

To follow instructions is better than to sacrifice.

To obey is better than sacrificing the fat of rams."

I Samuel 15:22 (GW)

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Can You Say A Prayer For Your Tormentor?

This is a difficult thing to consider.  It can be an obscene question depending on what terrible thing is being done to a praying person.  Praying for our tormentors is always possible, because prayer is without respect of persons.  All things are possible through prayer.  We can even pray for the strength and humility to be able to pray for our persecutors, harassers,  oppressors, and others who may afflict us.

Some torment is absolutely horrific , and I am not minimizing the suffering of those in those situations.  Often the suffering of children is unspeakable.  If I was facing a child who had lived through an extended, monstrous situation, what could I ever say to him or her?  What could I say to help that child feel that God cares, as he or she lay suffering near death?

My message comes back to me, and it is always the same: if possible find the strength to pray as good a prayer as possible for a tormentor.  It doesn't have to mean that I agree, accept or condone what is happening, or what happened.  It means that there was a price that was paid, both for the tormentor and  the tormented.  Jesus Christ paid the price equally for everyone, and this life is often unfair at various levels, for many of us.  Some suffer in diverse ways their entire lives.  Eventually though when it's all over, we will experience the rectifying of all injustice, including any injustices which each of us may have done.  God is a very fair God, and he has provided for it all to be made right.

So whether the torment is light or heavy, moderate or intense, brief or extended, mental, emotional or physical, God can give us the strength to pray for our tormentors.  When our first thought may be to curse our tormentors, and even to curse God, we can find the strength to pray for the afflictors.

Have you ever considered that you may have tormented someone unawares?  Maybe a word or action that you did, without forethought or plan, hurt someone deeply in some way.  Maybe your attitude towards someone has always been demeaning, degrading, or even offensive.  Did you hurt a child to such a degree that that adult has never recovered?  If you learned of it wouldn't you want that person to pray on your behalf?  If you never became aware of it, wouldn't you hope that one day that person had the strength to pray on your behalf?

You may never see a change, in this world, after your prayer.  It is possible that, before you breathe your last breath, that you may never be delivered from the circumstance of your torment.  The person you pray for may never know that they did or are doing something that is causing you great pain.  He or she may be intent on purposely  oppressing you, and may not ever  care how you feel.  Praying for your tormentor does not bring with it the promise of proof that the tormentor has changed.  You will have peace though that you've done the right thing.

Our prayers for our tormentors will  matter one day, if we continue to believe.

Bless those who persecute you; bless, and don't curse.  (Romans 12:14 World English Bible)

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